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Down the hole.

Sunk.

Gone.

I wear my car keys in my jeans pocket, something I might want to reconsider. In the space of maybe a third of a second I felt them leave my pocket and drop. I was rising from the throne after finishing my “biz’ness,” and I scooped up my jeans to pull them up along with my rising action. Blink. Swish.

Hubby said I should have reached in immediately and washed my hands after, but I swear I was so dumbfounded at the fluke I couldn’t have managed the action. Then there was the whole third-of-a-second part… The only times I managed those speeds was when I leapt across a room to rescue a tottering child who was intent on destroying a book or some animate object (sibling, dog, cat, goldfish…you get the idea).

That is the second time this year I lost something important down the loo. In March it was my iPAQ. Also in my pocket.

Now it is just barely Christmas Day 2006 and I am finishing up my hot toddy in an attempt to sooth my very sore throat. There is still much to be done, but sleep wins.

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

Happy Birthday, Lori!

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I had nothing to show for the adventure until the morning after. Various reactions written on peoples faces (but not spoken aloud) included “Why did she only put eye make-up on one eye?” “Was she mugged, or (shudder) worse?” and “Who hit her?” Then came the delicately darting eyes scanning for more information, then quickly looking away as if to deny morbid fascination. I also have a well-deserved reputation for being a klutz, so there was also the speculation that I fell or bumped into something.

It is a well-deserved reputation. Yes, I did fall, but there were extenuating reasons for planting my face in the dirt so spectacularly. They helped.

Into the Woods

So we went walking, the puppies and I. Into the woods we went. I also went into the ground but that came later. They were very good about slowing down as I went down the slope behind them; careful not to pull me off my feet. They were excited to be in the woods again and it was hard not to pull and strain on their leads. But they did…and walked around the first pond edge, well, walked FAST around the first pond edge before becoming distracted by 2 boys on dirt bikes on the other side of the pond. They stopped. They stared. They wondered how to convince me to walk across the pond to get to the other side where the boys were.

I convinced them to continue our walk. The peace was short-lived. Not quite a hundred feet in front of us we could see a jogger on the trails coming towards us. Behind him was a woman with another dog.

Oh joy! Oh rapture! Friends! New people to meet and lick! The jerk on the leads almost toppled me right then and there, but I held my steadily-losing ground, aiming for a tree to brace against.

The jogger noticed us and hesitated. With an extra spurt of energy, the puppies leapt forward again, and this time I went sailing with them. I am far too heavy to stay airborne for long, so the next inevitability was my face firmly planted in the forest floor.

I was wearing a wooly hat. I landed on pine needles and dirt rather than the multitude of exposed roots. I still felt the clunk of brain matter crashing into my skull.

The dogs continued on their joyous way to meet and greet the jogger, dragging me the short distance behind them necessary to jump on the jogger.

The other witness, er, woman with another dog, retreated up the hill to her own back yard on the ridge above us.

“Are they safe?”, the jogger asked. I thought that a silly question what with my face being firmly embedded in the ground, but I responded, that no, they were just exuberantly friendly.

Those dratted puppies didn’t look to see about me at all. “Heartless beasts!” I yelled. “I could be a mass of blood and dying here and you don’t even stop to check!” My tone of voice must have registered something with Dixie for she was the only one to turn her head to look back at me. Her expression seemed to say, “In a minute. I’m busy here!”

Taking a moment for bodily inventory, I realized that a) nothing seemed broken but my head hurt like the dickens, and b) extravagant pratfalls do not allow for the luxury of mortification.

I would like to say that on the remainder of their walk they behaved beautifully. In truth, they behaved somewhat better, but there is SO much room for improvement….(ahem).

Checking in the mirror at home I saw no marks, no blood, no indication whatsoever of the adventure. Botheration!

This morning, the technicolor was all I could hope for. Our puppies might be heartless beasts, but my co-workers more than made up for their inattention. They also suggested I might want to reconsider walking both puppies by myself. My protests that this was the first time anything of this sort had happened with them fell on deaf, if not outright disbelieving, ears.

(sigh) I love my puppy dogs. Really.

Extending the Family

Associate CCR introduced me to a few knitting blogs that I am hooked on. I love the humor. I love the ongoing human sagas…and I especially like the reminder that all humans are connected. I will be donating to the Knitters Without Borders for the holidays and whenever I can. Because, you don’t leave family out.

On a related note, the orthopedic surgeon I saw for the carpal/cubital tunnel issues this fall (the forced rest and braces helped very much, thank you, even though the insurance company refused to pay for one of them), spends time every year in the Doctors Without Borders program. He was a genuinely nice guy in person, too.

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Doctors Without Borders

Friday, December 15, 2006 Liam at Play in the Kitchen

I enjoy my Fridays with Liam. He is a joy to be around and a hoot to play with. This video (I hope it works!) was a typical morning with him being a ham for the camera.

Now that he is such an accomplished walker, we took him to Stride-Rite to be fitted for his first “real” shoes this past Saturday. He had such a look of joy and pride as he strutted about in the various pairs presented…of course, by the 3rd pair he was getting a mite frustrated with this on-again, off-again business!

The side effect of wearing shoes is the total lack of interest in staying in the stroller…walking is now his preferred mode.

People send me things…and I crack up!

I love reading signs by the side of the road….whizzing by, I barely grasp the message before it is lost in the miles behind me. One of my favorites on the bike rides is something about fresh, warm worms and dog food…

Anyway, I wonder what kind of a vase you would use to display these? Or if they come in different colors? What about the fragrance? I wonder if it would help to put those preservative packets in the water.

Then I wonder whether they would look better on the kitchen table or on the piano in the front room.

I wonder if they are cheaper by the dozen.

I wonder if they come in long-stemmed.

Captured at 115th and Allisonville Road, Indianapolis. The sign is real and was up for about two hours before someone stopped and told them how to spell peonies.

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For years I have admired the fancy-schmancy ornament hooks on sale at craft stores, posh emporiums, and in upper echelon catalogs. Admired, but refused to pay for something I could do myself…if I had the supplies…if I had some working space…if I had the time…if, If IF!

Last weekend I had a lovely time “wasting” an evening in experimenting with beading and wire. I de-balled a couple of necklaces and created 14 ornament hangers. I attached them to over-sized jingle bells and added a ribbon. Viola! My co-workers appreciated the cubicle embellishments almost as much as I did when doing them.

Next up: different wire weights and maybe a peg grid to loop the wire on.

Every day I put moisturizer on my face in the morning, and evenings, too when I remember. I always wipe the excess cream off on my backside…which means I probably have the youngest-looking and softest-feeling tush possible.

My tush does not need this extra treatment. It is usually covered up with clothing, bed covers, and bubbles in the bath. It is rarely exposed to the elements, unlike my sister’s breasts which love to bay at the moon every chance they get. I believe her breasts are none the worse for their noctural adventures. Perhaps I should consider mooning the moon?

I have an itchy nose. It drives me crazy how itchy it is every morning. Would you believe I have been bothered by this itchy nose problem for YEARS and only just this past weekend noticed exactly WHEN in the morning it begins to itch? It begins the moment I put powder on my nose. Not before. This morning I experimented with a shiny nose and EUREKA! No itchy nose!

I am not done with body parts.

Many people are familiar with carpal tunnel syndrome – the shooting pain that heavy computer users experience. Not to be outdone by the cacophonous keyboarding around me, I have not one, not two, but ALL THREE of the tunnel syndromes. They are: carpal tunnel (wrist – probably overuse combined with injuries sustained in my – ahem – “youth”), cubital tunnel (elbow – also called golfer’s or tennis elbow – I do neither of these but marathon knitting may have contributed to it), and tarsal tunnel (ankle – definitely a multiple of clutziness-related inijuries). They all respond nicely to the standard treatments of rest, ibuprofen, and braces (not the wire ones, fortunately!).

When I wear both the elbow and wrist braces on my left arm I feel like a Power Ranger geared up to seriously kick butt in the universe. Pow! Pow! The fact that my aim sucks and I couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn only 20 feet away (literally!) is besides the point. It is my fantasy, and I always blast my target!

Okay. Now I am done with body parts.

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