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When I was very young, they had to catch me as I ran by in order to scrub the grubbiness off my face and body. There was a lot of scrubbing necessary because I was a decidedly grubby tomboy urchin.

A few years after that, I became such a total tub inhabitant that it took much banging and shouts through the bathroom door by my brothers and sister to get me out so that they could ‘use the facilities’. This did not endear me to them.

As time went by, I accumulated more and more bathroom ‘necessities’ to adorn or engulf myself in. Bubble baths, scented oil baths, bathing salts, scented talcum, Coppertone instant tan (it was orange on everyone I knew, but we kept at it anyway), sun-in for ‘natural’ blond streaks, skin cream, emollients, exfoliates, Nair hair removal (which has a much improved scent now – it used to last as long as the chemical smell of a perm—days!) and razors and shaving cream (fortunately they began selling to women so I could stop buying the ‘manly’ scented ones). Razor shaving enabled me to carve a swatch of skin a quarter inch wide and 15 inches long in a single stroke.

Sharing a family bathroom meant that I carried my personal toiletry items in and out with me in a large (and larger) basket/bag. Getting my own place meant I could keep all my bathroom stuff IN the bathroom. Decadence! There was room to accumulate more, so… I did.

Fast-forward to ‘now’.

To this growing mass of ‘necessities’ I now include anti-aging creams, gels, exfoliates, toners, and cleansers. And more talcum’s, oils, foot callus creams and shower sanders, apricot facial scrub, and orange-based shampoo and rinse (which really does help my fine, thin hair feel thicker and stronger while relieving scalp itch). I keep a supply of ‘natural feeling’ hair spray, mousse, sculpting hair gel, and de-frizz products, too.

I do not wear as much make-up as I used to. I can do a full war-paint face makeup (from moisturizer to final coat of lipstick) in about two minutes. I used to say the same about my dental care but now…

What takes up the largest footprint on my bathroom counter is not the gels, creams, make-up, or talc. The largest single toiletry section is for my teeth. I have a Oral-B electric toothbrush mounted on the wall, and under it I now have a Waterpik oral health thingamabob to shoot water at my gums. It has 6 different tips, one of which is to clean my tongue.

I blame my dentist for this imbalance in toiletry space allocation. Since I am in hock to the tooth fairy (the results are now in -literally- and I am happy with the result, so this isn’t really a complaint) the permanent implants and the gums under them need kept clean so that they stay healthy… a waterpik isn’t a luxury, it is a responsible financial purchase! No, I cannot claim it as a deductible for tax purposes. (Rats!)

Once you add dental washes, ‘sensitive teeth’ toothpaste, gum massagers, christmas-tree-shaped proxy brushes and the tooth whitening system I recently began using, my 15″x18″ bathroom counter top is FULL.

On the other (slightly wider) side, the left side of the sink, my husband has space for his toiletries. He also has an electric shaver, prescribed ointments, creams, and (recently) a counter top electric toothbrush. Although he also has the shared small bathroom wastebasket on his side of the counter, his side is nowhere near as crowded as mine.

So why do I keep finding HIS hairbrush on MY side??

There are consequences to breaking the law. In Massachusetts it is particularly important to avoid traffic violations of any kind because state law requires auto insurance premiums to go up until you have had incidence-free periods. In my case, I got a speeding ticket (clear weather, excellent road conditions, singing along with the radio and not paying attention… Bam!) that added 2 points to my clean record. My auto insurance this year is almost 200% higher than it was last year due to the loss of Good Driver Discounts and penalties. For each incident-free policy year, I get one point removed. If I add more points, the insurance rates go higher and it takes more years to work them off my record.

Stephen points out that this is an excellent point in favor of moving out of Taxachusetts. I look at property taxes in surrounding states and do not have the same point of view he does.

In principle, I agree with the idea that drivers with good driving records should pay less than those who have accidents and get speeding tickets. I was all behind it, accepting the Good Driver Discounts and all, until I got hit with the huge surcharge for my single traffic ticket. Money is said to be a great inducement in altering behavior. I have not noticed improved driving practices in those on the roadways with me. I console myself with the thought that their insurance premiums must be *really* huge.

Although I have noticed that *I* pay more attention to my speed rates and local speed limits far more than I used to…

In addition to the laws made by humans, there are also the reverberations related to disregarding the physical laws. I try to be a law-abiding citizen. I endeavor to live by the Golden Rule and treat young and old with respect and courtesy. I tithe. I pray. Surely I should have accumulated some level of good karma, yes? I must have, because I am blessed in so many ways, every day. And yet…

There is one law I regularly have trouble with obeying. It’s a basic law. It’s the one called ‘gravity.’ (Thoughts and sounds of Elphabah singing ‘Defying Gravity’ from ‘Wicked’ fill my head as I write this.)

I was in the process of getting the large garbage barrel out to the curb last night when a new gravity pocket opened up under my left foot (why should my right foot have all the fun ?) and down I went. I elevated and iced it and went to bed.

This morning I couldn’t walk on it. Out came the boot. The straps are facing inside instead of outside, but that is the only difference between a right and left air compression boot. The doctor said I did the right thing and sent me for x-rays just in case. No word so far, so it’s probably just a horridly huge hematoma that will turn spectacular colors just in time to head up to the Farm this weekend.

Do you have trouble with laws? Which ones?

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