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Quick! Clean the house! Pretend I have not been buried in work for over a year! Try to cover up that I have not done yard work (oouch! the hedges!), washed floors (do not walk barefoot in the kitchen), dusted (the only thing dirtier than my gutter mind), or put away projects from months ago…

Sigh.

I would love to pretend that I can keep up with insane work hours, housekeeping, puppies, grandchildren, knitting, reading, technology updates, exercise, husband, music, and all….but the truth of the matter is..

I can’t.

We have planned a few activities away for foliage viewing, visiting the newest family member (Liam sadly said he didn’t remember her coming last fall, but he would try harder to remember her for next year). These activities should surely distract her from the state of affairs here.

I try to keep my priorities in line… God and family first, along with home, friends, music, and *then* work…

But the reality is that work has been taking 12+ hours of my days, every day. I scramble out as early as I possibly can in the morning. While at work I have no time to think of anything *except* work and once I get home, I am too fried to do much else.

The condition of the house reflects that. It is mostly picked up, but there are piles on the dining room table, the kitchen counters, and mounds in the laundry area. The windows are coated with puppy noses. Several houseplants are in terminal stages of neglect.

Sigh.

My mother is coming and there is the knee-jerk panic attack to pretend I am an organized housekeeper-homemaker-employed-daughter-wife. The only consolation at this late date (she arrives tomorrow afternoon) is that her abode is no better… and she is retired.

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Long Week!

Long Week!

This week at work has been long, hectic, enervating, and occasionally demoralizing as well.

I feel like my desk flowers look!

Sometimes, the frog isn’t a single, procrastinated thing. Sometimes it is just showing up when you would SO rather… uh… not. Sometimes it is a long, drawn-out thing that you just have to keep plugging away at when all you really want to do is run away (anywhere!) screaming. Or sleep. Yeah, sleep would be good.

That was me showing up late to work today (migraine be damned! and take major meds) for a meeting I felt was important enough to be there for. But… the one who set the meeting called in sick. Once I was there, I stayed and plowed through some of the pieces of the mountain, trying to dig out of the mine I am buried in. (Was it only a week ago I still thought it possible to come back from the time deficit?)

This work project is not a frog, it’s a frickin’ elephant that we pretend can be tamed, channeled, put back on a timetable, and delivered on time.

Talk about denial! Usually denial is my happy place, but not this time. This is a moving, morphing headache place. A time sink.

On the positive side, I am not having major anxiety attacks, just stress concerns that I can set aside for most of my time out of the office. Yes, I have begun to work at home again. I tried really hard not, but the choice was to stay in the office till “oh-dark-thirty”, or bring it home. I am bringing it home. Otherwise I’d never get around to doing laundry!

This is a frog I get to eat over and over and over and over…..and…

I remember that a lot of life is just the showing up for it. There’s the Good (new granddaughter), the Bad (impossible workload) and the Ugly (crappy weather). And music and knitting and puppies and hubby and awesome grown children and STUFF!

Thanks. I feel better now.

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