Except when they don’t.

I love the colors of fall. The rich, crisp, neon-bright leaves in sunlight and sunset always light up my eyes and soul with delight. The sturdy chrysanthemums flower into frosted landscapes, lessening the loss of green grass. The brightest blues you can ever see are in the fall. I love the Technicolor of the season.

Winter offers a cleaner landscape. The pure art of tree limbs show their character and whimsy. They are barren of leaves, but now expose interesting personalities and strength. Frost sparkles in feather patterns across yards and windows, and crusts the surface of ponds and other standing water pools. Gorgeous crystalline structures mesmerize, fire lit by sun, moon, or neon lighting. And snow! The gorgeous textures of snow and the diamond-bright glitter after a snowfall never fails to delight! Numbed fingers and noses cannot detract from the sumptuous feast of eye candy that winter offers.

Then…at last… a spring. Where mists of green haze around bushes and lawns. I get excited at the new life reaching out. The colors are so rich, lush, and velvety-deep. The morning fog leaves silvery wisps of fantasy that wrap around crocus, daffodils, and snowdrops. Again I marvel at the eye-candy all around me.

As spring surges into summer, the cacophony of color riots around me. Thunderstorms with their lights shows, the spectacular sunsets, the incredible variety of texture and color amaze me over and over again.

The light in my husband’s eyes when I greet him in the evening after work; a lazy smile from Phil, or glowing smile beaming from Susan’s beautiful face; the smile of my grandson Liam as he catches sight of me; the happy tongue-sticking-out I get from little Aiden that tells me he knows me… These gifts to the heart are so precious to me that I can hardly bear to contemplate not seeing them.

But I *do* think about losing my sight from time to time. It would be horrid. I would most definitely hate it. I resent wearing corrective lenses but am grateful they allow me to continue seeing the love around me.

My current eye infection has affected my eyesight. My left eye is seriously worse out-of-whack because of it. I realized just how badly off this afternoon when I tried to read an eye chart for the doctor. No wonder focusing gets so tiring and painful!

I cover the affected eye with my hand for some relief, and also to be able to drive to and from work, home, and the doctors office. In trying to compensate, my right eye gets tired and has trouble coping with focusing. Light hurts even worse than usual. I squint.

I should rest my eye whenever possible. I can knit with my eyes closed*, most of the time because I choose patterns that allow me to do so. Years of practice also help.

*The current pattern, a sweater for Aunt Peggy, is all garter stitch. Elizabeth Zimmerman would approve .

Dick and Jane and Sally and Spot were all in my early reading primer books. “Look! See!” and that is all I can think of…storing up visual memories for a fearful future time when vision is a memory. It happens. I know people with macular degeneration. They are seriously pissed about it. They do fine, but they miss actually _seeing_ things.

I am a world class worrier about things like this. I have no known genetic markers for macular degeneration. I have lousy vision and astigmatism, yes. I have a history of herpes simplex virus (cold sores), too. It is only in the past couple of years that I have been having episodes where they appear not around my mouth, but on my eyelids. If they infect the cornea (a real possibility), blindness is a common result.

My worries are not completely improbable. Unfortunately.

Fortunately, my hearing remains. I love the texture, color, and emotion of sound. And my voice remains, but I am still a better reader than singer. I just noticed recently that the skills I use to read aloud and deliver scripture, read stories aloud, etc., are not always compatible with singing skills. The way words are delivered in song and in speaking are not the same. Interesting. Another area to explore and work on.

The doctor assures me that in 3-4 days my visual difficulties will be much improved… but if not, to please contact him.

I will.

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