What would be more humane? Chemical asphyxiation or loss of mobility via flame thrower, thereby quickly becoming dinner for the next up on the food chain? Hmmm….put it that way, I now think I prefer the chemical solution.

Our building manager has a flame thrower he uses to melt the ice off his home’s fancy custom brick walkway. It is a white heat blast that melts the ice and dries the brick almost instantly. He used it once to rid himself of a ground nest of of Yellow Jackets near his front porch. He said he waved the flame thrower wand over the nest, sending a blast of white heat directly on the nest (which scorched the front porch and his wife went bullshit, he says) and saw the cloud of bees drop to the ground in front of him. He swears they had a dazed and quizzical expression, flexing tiny stubs where wings used to be, falling over, stumbling in circles, looking for all the world as if the one thought in common was “What the &*#@ just happened?! Why am I still here on the ground?”

Practically choking with laughter at the image he described, I still managed to accuse him of having a seriously twisted sense of humor.

Which is why I saw a can of hornet and bee insecticide spray outside the nest on our walk yesterday afternoon. Considering that the tree might, perhaps, be burnt in the process (he can learn from past events – good thing!) of searing the bees into submission, he chose a spray can that shot foam into the nest. Several bees were outside the nest at the time and a few others flew out while he was spraying. They all had little foam caps or white splatters on them. Looking dazed and wearing quizzical expressions of “What the &*#@ just happened?”

Remember when you were a kid and got your hands on a can of shaving foam? Or the mad food fight with spray whipped cream? Yeah, that was image I had in mind, too.

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