Oops—I meant Falsies and Pasties – combined

Not all pasties have tassels and/or sequins. One kind is actually meant to HIDE rather than advertise. I think of them as false pasties. Hello. My name is Kali and my daughter is the reason I wear the latter.

With very few exceptions, all humans have nipples. In the female, there is a definite pupose for them: lactation, for example, and making clothes gap on button-front shirts. Erect nipples are also a natural state for many people. Sensitivity to clothing, temperature, arousal, etc. cause them to become more visible under clothing. Since today’s fashion police have determined that visible nipples must be connected primarily with arousal, erect nipples under clothing are often masked with padded brassieres in polite company. Nevermind that we have push-up and padded bras out your whazoo. Nipples are a no-no. DD is kind enough to ask me if I am cold or do I need a sweater to cover up. Embarrassing ones children is a perk for all who have survived raising them. Payback and all that. Because she is a delightful DD, I do try not to embarrass her in public all that often.

I do not now, nor have I ever needed (since the age of 13, anyway) padded ANYTHING.

Breast petals is one name for them. They are sorta flower-shaped, if you think of the daisied flower-power of the 60’s and 70’s. They mostly manage to camouflage my fashion deformity. I think they look dorky. Rather than constantly crossing my arms over my chest, I have begun wearing them under certain tops—the ones that seem to advertise NIPPLES in capital letters.

This company sells both cloth and silicon gel nipple covers AND “enhancers”—presumably one is for daytime and the other is for the frisky business customers.

Bulky sweaters are another option. Considering the temperature at work (chilled, not “conditioned” —as in, we go outside to defrost at least three times a day), I frequently resort to this option, keeping a neutral beige, long cardigan at work.

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